BEAR HUG
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu & Self-Defense
Bear Hug Jiu-Jitsu's Kids Program:
Building Stronger, Calmer, Kinder Kids Through the World’s Most Effective Martial Art
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: Why Every Kid Should Try It
There’s a reason Jocko Willink and so many other leaders recommend Jiu-Jitsu for kids. Jocko specifically encourages all kids to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu—not just for self-defense, but because of the character, confidence, and resilience it builds.
Jiu-Jitsu is unusual in the best possible way: it’s an individual sport practiced on a team. On the mat, it’s you versus one other person. In the academy, it’s a community that sharpens each kid’s skills, empathy, and grit.
I’ve spent decades training and coaching. I also graduated from West Point and later commanded an infantry company in Iraq. Discipline, teamwork, and calm under pressure aren’t abstract ideas to me—they’re lived experience.
What I see every week at Bear Hug Jiu-Jitsu is simple: Jiu-Jitsu shapes children into stronger, kinder, more capable humans. There’s no downside, only upside, and the benefits spill into school, friendships, and life.
Skill Over Strength: The First Big Lesson Kids Learn
When kids start, they quickly discover a truth most adults miss: skill beats strength and speed. Strength and speed matter, but technique eclipses them. A smaller, technical kid can control a bigger, stronger peer because they’ve learned leverage, timing, and position.
That lesson changes how kids think about success. They start to associate practice with progress. They see that knowledge and precision matter. They notice the kid who drills carefully gets better faster than the kid who just tries hard. It builds humility and hunger at the same time—humility because someone smaller can out-skill you, hunger because you now know exactly how to get better.
The First Months on the Mat: Discovering Muscles and Movement
If your child is four to six years old, they’re still learning left from right and wiring their brain for movement. Jiu-Jitsu is total-body awareness training disguised as play. They roll, shrimp, bridge, post, invert, and crawl—movements that light up coordination patterns they won’t encounter in ordinary life. Many kids come home after a first week saying, “I discovered muscles I didn’t know I had.”
This coordination multiplies. Jiu-Jitsu kids move better in every other sport. Basketball footwork improves. Balance on skates stabilizes. Football tackling mechanics make more sense. The confidence of knowing your body does what you ask it to do? That’s priceless, especially for kids who are shy, tentative, or glued to screens. The mat pulls them into the real world of effort, sweat, and fun with friends.
Jiu-Jitsu vs. Other Martial Arts: Reality Beats Pretend
In many traditional arts you practice kata—forms against imaginary opponents. There’s value in discipline and choreography, but it can leave kids guessing which moves actually work. Jiu-Jitsu removes the guesswork. If someone holds you down, either you escape or you don’t. If you try to pass their guard, either you succeed or they stop you. The opponent resists, and you adjust—live.
We build skill with progressions: learn the escape; drill the escape; then practice from that position with a resisting partner who’s trying to hold you down. Kids learn quickly that calm technique wins. After six to eight months, a trained child can usually control an untrained peer. By black belt, skill—and the confidence that comes with it—is overwhelming.
Why Talk About Fighting and Kids?
No parent wants their child in fights. But real life happens. Especially for boys, the odds of a conflict sometime in childhood are not zero. Here’s the paradox of martial arts: the more prepared your child is to fight, the less they’ll need to. Once a child knows they can handle themselves, their need to prove anything evaporates. They walk away because they’re confident, not because they’re scared.
We’re not training kids to be aggressive. We’re training them to be capable and calm—to know how to defend themselves, de-escalate, and prioritize safety and respect.
Empathy: The Hidden Lesson of Jiu-Jitsu
People think Jiu-Jitsu teaches toughness. It does. But it also teaches empathy. When a new kid shows up, it’s easy for the experienced kids to smash them. But our culture at Bear Hug is different. Our kids remember what it felt like to be new. So they slow down, help, and encourage. They make space for success without faking it.
This is where the “individual sport, team practice” idea shines. To improve, you need partners of all sizes and styles. A room full of different training partners is a room full of friends who make each other better. The bigger the community, the faster everyone grows. It becomes a harmonic cycle: help others, improve together, repeat.
Safety Deep Dive: Why Jiu-Jitsu Is One of the Safest Sports
Parents deserve straight talk on safety. Jiu-Jitsu has no sprinting collisions, no ballistic hits, and no repetitive head trauma. We spend most of our time on the ground. The most common “injury” is a skin pinch from gripping the gi.
We teach breakfalls from day one so kids learn to land safely. We use padded mats that absorb shock. And we distinguish between throws and takedowns in kid-friendly ways. A throw usually means lifting someone and placing their back to the mat; a takedown often means clenching the legs, off-balancing, and guiding to the floor. Kids are close to the ground already, so properly taught takedowns are gentle. We practice them with control and clear rules.
Can any sport eliminate all risk? No. But with smart coaching, equipment, and culture, injuries in kids’ Jiu-Jitsu end up as a rounding error. Compared to football, soccer, or boxing, the difference is night and day.
Strength Is a Skill: A Grandmother’s Lesson
I once enrolled a boy whose grandmother handled the paperwork. She told me he struggled with confidence, dealt with bullying, and had trouble focusing in school because of ADHD. I explained how Jiu-Jitsu could help—new skills, exercise, structure—and added, “He’s going to get a lot stronger.”
She surprised me: “I don’t care if he gets stronger. I just want him to have fun.”
I understood her heart, but here’s what I wish every parent knew: strength is a skill. You develop strength through practice and hard work. It’s also protective. A stronger child carries themselves differently. They feel capable. Bullies sense that and look elsewhere. In Jiu-Jitsu, kids build strength two ways: moving their own body and moving a resisting opponent who often weighs the same. That’s honest strength—the kind that transfers to life.
Grit: What West Point, Duckworth, and the Mat Have in Common
Angela Duckworth’s Grit defines grit as the ability to pursue long-term goals through setbacks, boredom, and difficulty. The key insight: it’s not genetic. Grit can be taught and trained.
At West Point, grit gets stress-tested. My class entered in 1992 and graduated in 1996. From Beast Barracks to dark-o’clock formations, from academic pressure to field exercises, everything is designed to reveal and build character. Later, commanding an infantry company in Iraq, the lessons hardened. You learn to steady your breathing when the stakes rise, think clearly when you’re tired, and take the next right action even when the path is hard.
Jiu-Jitsu gives kids a miniature version of that training. They drill a movement and fail. They drill again and fail better. They plateau, get frustrated, and think about quitting. Then something clicks. The escape works. The guard pass lands. They connect the dots: consistent effort beats talent. That connection becomes a lifelong asset in school, sports, work, and relationships.
Video Games vs. Real Progress
Video games are engineered for instant dopamine. Build something in Minecraft; get rewarded now. Level up; get rewarded now. The real world doesn’t pay out like that. Go to the gym once and nothing changes. Write one paragraph and the book isn’t finished.
Jiu-Jitsu gives kids a healthy relationship with progress. It demands patience, attention, and repetition. Improvements arrive slowly, then suddenly. We tell kids to think in timelines: six weeks (you’ll feel different), six months (you’ll look different), six years (you’ll be different). That timescale re-calibrates expectations and makes schoolwork, chores, and long projects feel more doable.
Focus, ADHD, and Belonging
The structure of class—warm-up, technique, drilling, positional rounds, sparring—creates a rhythm that helps kids with attention challenges. Movements are tactile and varied. Feedback is immediate and real. You either kept your posture or you got swept. You either controlled your breathing or you gassed out. That loop of action → feedback → adjustment is a powerful teacher.
There’s also the social side. Belonging matters. A child who doesn’t feel like they fit in somewhere will struggle anywhere. On the mat, they earn belonging by effort and respect. That’s a foundation no algorithm can swipe away.
Practical Self-Defense for Kids
We keep self-defense age-appropriate. Kids learn awareness, safe distance, basic clinches, and how to get up and get out. They practice breaking grips, framing with their arms, and protecting their head. They learn that shouting for help is a tool, that running away is wisdom, and that the best fight is the one you avoid. The point isn’t to win fights; it’s to stay safe.
Is Jiu-Jitsu Safe for Small Kids?
Yes—when taught correctly. We emphasize:
Breakfalls: Controlled takedowns and safe landing mechanics.
Position Over Submission For Beginners: First learn to escape and control; submissions come later and under strict supervision.
Tap Culture: Tapping is smart, respected, and required.
Hygiene: clean mats, clean gis, water breaks, and rest when needed.
We keep coaching ratios tight and pair kids thoughtfully. Safety is culture first, technique second.
What If My Child Is Shy? Or Very Energetic?
Shy kids often thrive in the structure and clear boundaries of Jiu-Jitsu. We introduce them to a buddy, pair them with patient partners, and celebrate small wins. High-energy kids get a positive outlet with rules that channel energy into skill. Both types learn the same core truths: respect, self-control, and responsibility for your training partner’s safety.
How Often Should Kids Train?
Two to three classes per week is the sweet spot. Once a week is better than nothing, but progress compounds with frequency—especially in the first six months. We encourage parents to think in seasons: commit for six months and watch the change.
What Gear Do We Need?
A properly fitted gi, a belt, and a water bottle. We’ll guide you on sizing and care. Mouthguards are optional for most kids classes. If your child decides to compete later, we’ll advise on competition-specific gear.
What Do Classes Look Like?
We keep a predictable structure kids can rely on:
Warm-up: Movement patterns like shrimping, bridging, technical stand-ups.
Technique: 1–2 core movements taught step-by-step.
Drilling: Cooperative repetition to groove the pattern.
Positional Rounds: Start in the day’s position (e.g., mount bottom) and work to escape/hold.
Sparring (as appropriate): Live rounds with safety and partner respect front and center.
Close: A quick lesson on mindset, gratitude, or teamwork.
Bear Hug Jiu-Jitsu Culture: What We Teach Beyond Technique
Respect: Thank partners; take care of each other.
Ownership: Show up on time, help clean, tie your belt, learn your responsibilities.
Curiosity: Ask why a move works, not just how.
Calm: Breathe under pressure; think first, act second.
Service: Help the newer kid the way someone helped you.
Getting Started at Bear Hug
Your child’s first class is welcoming and structured. We’ll fit their gi, pair them with a patient partner, and keep expectations clear: listen, try, tap early, have fun. Parents are welcome to watch. After class we’ll debrief: what clicked, what felt confusing, what to practice at home (yes, shrimping down the hallway counts).
There’s a reason Jocko Willink and so many other leaders recommend Jiu-Jitsu for kids. Jocko specifically encourages all kids to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu—not just for self-defense, but because of the character, confidence, and resilience it builds.
Jiu-Jitsu is unusual in the best possible way: it’s an individual sport practiced on a team. On the mat, it’s you versus one other person. In the academy, it’s a community that sharpens each kid’s skills, empathy, and grit.
I’ve spent decades training and coaching. I also graduated from West Point and later commanded an infantry company in Iraq. Discipline, teamwork, and calm under pressure aren’t abstract ideas to me—they’re lived experience.
What I see every week at Bear Hug Jiu-Jitsu is simple: Jiu-Jitsu shapes children into stronger, kinder, more capable humans. There’s no downside, only upside, and the benefits spill into school, friendships, and life.
Jiu-Jitsu isn’t just another activity to fill a calendar square. It’s a foundation for life. Kids learn discipline, empathy, and real confidence. They build strength and coordination that transfer to every sport. They develop the grit to pursue long goals through short-term obstacles. They make friends who make them better.
If you give your child six months to a year on the mat, you’ll see the difference. As a coach, a veteran, and a parent, I believe Jiu-Jitsu is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.